I was busy painting the steps outside our front doorway when she came out the door. I could tell by the look on her face that something was terribly wrong. She was fighting the tears. But I know she has already been crying. I knew I needed to care for the heart of my daughter. And my heart breaks to see her like this. If I had my way, I would prevent any kind of pain in her life. But that is not possible. And I think that a completely pain-free life would hinder her from understanding more fully her need for a Saviour. But my mommy heart wants to take that pain for her. This is Caring For The Heart Of My daughter.
That Is Love.
She stands outside the door and in a quivering voice she tells me that her friend suddenly wants to end their friendship.
No reason is given because “she wouldn’t understand”.
There was no warning signs, no fight, no offenses made.
It was just over.
I coach her in things to say, questions to ask. It makes no difference. The only response left is to let her friend know that if she changes her mind, that Sarah is there for her. Her friend answers by saying that it is a kind offer, but it is over forever.
My daughter is broken. The shattered pieces of her heart held loosely in her hands, shards falling through her fingertips.
How will I help her through this? What advice can I give that will bring comfort to her heart?
The fact that I am a safe place for her to turn in painful times such as this is a relief for me. She trusts me. She trusts my wisdom.
I have cultivated this trust over the years.
She Trusts My Heart For Her.
I take a few moments to gather my thoughts and to clean the paint off of my hands.
I tell her that everything will be ok. She needs to know this. Life will go on. Her heart will heal and she will have other friends. But we need to deal with this brokenness right now – we need to handle it properly.
We go into my room and sit on my bed. I pray for her and her friend. The situation is now left in God’s hands. I pray for my daughter’s heart to be healed and that God will bring someone else special into her life. We hug and I say additional words of comfort to her.
While I wish she didn’t have to go through this kind of pain, I know that the circumstance has drawn us closer together. Her heart has grown to trust me more. She knows she can confide in me and I will always take her seriously.
Throughout the afternoon, I keep checking on her, making sure she is ok. I am diligent about making sure she isn’t in her room, feeling sad and alone. I never want her to feel alone in her pain.
She seems to be handling it alright. Every now and then I’ll catch sorrow on her face and know she is mourning her friendship.
The following day we talk more about it. She tells me that it hurts.
I tell her that I know – and believe me, I know about broken relationships.
I tell her it’s ok to feel the pain. Not so that we can hang on to it, but so that it isn’t ignored and pushed down deep where it can gather dust and cobwebs. We can feel the pain so that we can give it to Jesus to redeem and heal.
But the pain remains.
It will take time and lots of prayer.
I also tell her to phone her ‘bestie’ and talk to her about it – her best friend is a strong believer and will also point Sarah to Jesus. And it is good to just chat with a close friend.
Lead Them to the Cross
When our kids get hurt, it is so important for us to take the time to lead them to Christ for healing.
It is through our healing that we grow in our trust of God. We confide in Him and He cares for our every concern. He longs for us to trust Him with our hearts.
It is through our healing that we grow in our trust of God.
In these difficult times for our children, we are given the opportunity to share the gospel with them. We have the chance to show them the heart of God.
How have you revealed His character to your children today?
How have you shown your children that they can trust you? And in turn, trust God – completely?