So, what is no one telling you about submission? I discovered this little secret quite some times ago and I want to share it with you. About four years ago – during the Christmas season, we were getting ready to put up our Christmas tree. I wanted a real tree! I love the smell and the look of real trees. But my wonderful husband, said…NO. We went back and forth a bit on the tree, but I knew I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. This is What No One Tells You About Submission.
The Ugly Fake
He brought up the huge box with the ugly, sparse, FAKE tree.
Me = not happy. But I ‘submitted’ to my husband. I did not complain about the tree…at least not out loud.
We set up the fake tree and Marcus left me to ‘fluff’ out the branches.
With each branch, the grumbling in my heart got worse.
If we had a real tree, I wouldn’t be separating the stupid branches.
If we got what I wanted, my fingers wouldn’t be getting stabbed by these dumb wires.
Grumble, grumble, grumble.
When my heart was quiet for just a moment, I heard Him.
Aimee, you may have submitted to Marcus outwardly. But you haven’t in your heart. That is not true submission. You have a tree. Stop complaining about it and choose joy.
I had to make a heart change and I had to make it now.
I chose joy.
And my kids noticed.
Setting The Example
Fast forward a few weeks. I was talking to my oldest about being a submissive wife and keeping a healthy marriage. Her response was this, “Just like when you wanted a real tree and daddy wanted the fake tree. You didn’t argue with him. You just had the fake one put up.”
In that moment, I was so thankful that I had listened to God’s conviction in my heart and stopped my grumbling. I was sorry for the wasted time that I had grumbled away, but just so thankful that I had a heart change and my kids did not see the result of continued disobedience on my part.
I was honest with my daughter, though, and explained the story in more detail and how at first, my heart was in the wrong place. I shared how God spoke to me and told me I was wrong and needed to change.
This story has remained with Sarah ever since. It was a valuable lesson for her and one I hope she takes into her own marriage.
Little Eyes Are Watching
Our kids are watching us, ladies. They see how we submit and they notice when we don’t. Maybe not so much with inward disobedience, but they do notice our attitudes and behaviour.
We must set a good example in our marriages. Not just for their marriage one day, but presently for their relationship with God. Our marriages are supposed to reflect God’s glory, His relationship with us. Our children learn a lot about God’s character through us, their parents.
If we are disrespectful to our husbands; if we belittle them and emasculate them, how do you think our children will view God’s character? How do you think they will end up treating their spouse?
Be His Crown
Our marriages aren’t about us and what we want. It is all about how we reflect Jesus. That’s what marriage has always been about. Not what we can get from someone else.
Are we the beautiful crown of our husbands? Or are we the decay in their bones?
When we refuse to submit to their authority, we are decay in their bones.
When we talk negatively about them or to them, we are decay in their bones.
When we roll our eyes at them **SIGH**, we are decay in their bones.
When we put our selfish desires aside and choose to not fight over silly things like a Christmas tree, we are his crown.
When we choose joy after not having our way, we are his crown.
When we show our children how a godly wife ought to behave, we are his crown!
I would much rather be the crown of Marcus than the decay in his bones! Are you saying the same thing about your hubby?
Click below for a downloadable printable!
An 8×10 printable to remind you to be the crown of your husband! Created for my post “What No One Tells You About Submission“.
I often ask myself the following questions – sometimes they are easy to answer, sometimes they are very convicting…
How am I displaying His character to my children?
What am I teaching my children about marriage through my example?
What am I teaching my kids about the love of Christ through my marriage?
How are you able to answer these questions today?