Have you ever felt like all you are doing for your marriage is ‘working on it’?  Sometimes it just feels like there is always an area for your spouse to work on…or for YOU to improve in.  You wonder about those couples with that perfect marriage – how do they do it?  Don’t they ever fight?  Do you need some ideas on ways to keep working on your marriage? 

Does it seem like you are always working on your marriage?  You aren't alone and it is actually a good thing to always be working on your marriage.  Read why I believe this and get 3 great ways to keep working on your marriage!

Well, to be quite honest, my husband and I are one of those couples.  We’ve been told many times before that we are ‘the perfect couple’.  To the outside world, we have the ideal marriage.  To those who don’t know us very well, it might seem like our marriage is problem-free and we’ve always been like the Cleavers.

But here’s the deal…Marcus and I have a strong marriage because we are always working on it.    

Think about your car.  What happens to it when you don’t keep it maintained?  If you don’t wash it, change the oil or rotate the tires.  If you pretend that there is nothing to take care of, you’ll end up with bigger problems to manage.  It won’t take long before that car is breaking down and costing you a whole lot more money than you bargained for. 

It’s the same with marriage.  If you don’t maintain it properly, it will end up costing you more than you could have ever imagined.

Below are mine and Marcus’ top 3 ways to keep your marriage a Work in Progress

Be Intentional About Falling in Love With Him…Again

Prov 1920I intentionally think good thoughts about Marcus.  I can either focus on his flaws or I can concentrate on his strengths.  It’s a choice.  I want to choose to think highly of my husband, to believe that he truly is the most amazing man.    

This isn’t always easy, though.  I’ve had to train myself to do this.  That’s why it is ‘work in progress’.  But when I have these wonderful and loving thoughts about my husband, it shows on my face.

And really, this is what it means to take every thought captive under Christ’s authority.  My thoughts about my husband should reflect Christ’s thoughts about him.  I have to take any negative thought about my husband and bring them under Christ’s authority.  Can you imagine how your marriage might change if you started doing this?

**Keep doing those special things for your guy like giving him love notes – this is for you to remember why you love him.

Be Intentional About Spending Time Together

Spending time alone together can get tricky with a busy family.  Marcus and I don’t usually go out on too many date nights.  But one thing we have done often is make the kids an early dinner and then give them a movie and popcorn to enjoy in one of their bedrooms.  We have this portable DVD player that works quite well for this purpose.  Then Marcus and I enjoy a quiet dinner together.  We have taught the kids at a very early age that mom and dad need time alone together to keep our marriage strong. 

We live in a culture that thrives on busyness.  The kids in this or that activity.  Drive to soccer practice, drive to swim meets.  It seems that kids are often involved in 2 or 3 or more activities each.  This makes it even more difficult to have family time let alone husband and wife time.  If you are finding that your family is just way too busy with extra-curricular activities, or even church programs, then you might want to begin praying and considering what areas can be cut out of your life.  Your marriage and family is way too important for you to just drown it out with activity after activity.  And guess what?  Your children won’t suffer if they have to choose between soccer and the swim team.  But they will suffer if your marriage deteriorates.

Make time together a priority.

Be Intentional About Your Spiritual Freedom.

If I had to narrow this topic down to just one tip, it would be this one.  If you aren’t spiritually healthy, then your marriage won’t be either.  I have done A LOT of work on myself in this area.  Actually, I’ve allowed Christ to do A LOT of work on me. 

Psalm 119 45One important fact that I realized was that my husband could not fix me.  He can’t rescue me.  He can’t save me.  Nor should he ever feel the weight of that kind of responsibility.  There is only One who has the power to save me.  That is Jesus.

I need to turn to Him for healing and for restoration.  When I am a fully alive woman of God…well, then…that’s when Marcus thinks he has won grand prize.  When I am purposefully living in Christ’s freedom, I am the absolute best wife I can be. 

I intend to be sharing my story over the next several weeks.  If you need a story that will bring hope to your broken heart, be sure to check back here later this week.  Or better yet, subscribe to receive notifications of new blogs and/or my monthly newsletter.

We live in a broken world.  Many of us live through broken marriages because we are both completely and utterly broken people.  Can we encourage each other to continue seeking the Lord in all areas?  Can we commit to making sure we are working at walking in freedom and therefore, working on our marriages to be free?

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Does it seem like you are always working on your marriage?  You aren't alone and it is actually a good thing to always be working on your marriage.  Read why I believe this and get 3 great ways to keep working on your marriage!

Bottom line: If you feel like there is always something

to work on in your marriage; that is a good thing.

What will you choose to work on today?

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Old comments:

Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

It’s telling, and important that the first two points center on intentionality. Without that, the social forces that work to erode marriages have a much easier time.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of familiarity breeding contempt…a lot of married people find themselves praising things in others that they would overlook in their spouses, or at best blow off with a backhanded compliment. That’s tragic, really.

          Aimee Imbeau

           Hmmm…yes, Andrew. Our thoughts and time have to be sincere. Funny, though, the more I ‘compare’ Marcus to other                 men, the more I am so thankful to have him. Keeping a heart of thankfulness is important, too, I guess.

How are you feeling these days? I keep praying for you.

Marissa

Yes marriage is an all the time effort… My husband and I often joke its the best and its too bad we dont get paid for it.

Thanks for sharing

Marissa

  •            Aimee Imbeau

                My husband calls the payment “Love Units” – so I guess it is something.

  • Samantha Seymour 4 days ago

    This is great advice in keeping your marriage strong and healthy! It takes work!

              Aimee Imbeau 3 days ago

               Thank you Samantha. I wonder if some people believe it should be easier than it is and get discouraged when it takes                  work.

    CouponDivaAndi

    and God’s always got to be in the center of ANY marriage 😀

              Aimee Imbeau

               For sure! That’s a given for me…and I can’t be living in freedom if God is not at the center!

    Victoria @ Creative Home Keepe

    These are good tips. My husband and I make an effort to sit down together every week to go over the calendar and plan time to spend together. I know it might sound unromantic to “plan” time to spend together but with three kids under the age of 4 if we don’t a plan, the kids run the show! 🙂

              Aimee Imbeau

              I don’t think it is unromantic at all. The fact that you are so important to him that he is willing to be intentional – now that is             romantic!!

    Caroline @ In Due Time

    Thanks for sharing! You are so right – it’s SO important to be intentional!

              Aimee Imbeau

               Thank you Caroline!

     

     

     

  

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Aimee Imbeau

Aimee is a wife to an incredible husband, Marcus, and mother to three fabulous children. She works from home as a homeschool support teacher and she homeschools her own children as well. She loves writing abut her faith and decided to give blogging a try in 2013. The rest is history...