You know that feeling you get when the Holy Spirit wants you to do something? That gentle, quiet pull? That voice that says “It’s time”?
I have been feeling that the last few weeks.
He is telling me that it is time to share my story on my blog. The story of how He turned my broken life into a beautiful song.
I’ve shared my story several times already…but in person or much more privately than a blog.
I was comfortable sharing it each of those times…but on my blog, well, it just feels a bit different. I feel a bit more vulnerable sharing it here.
I also know how draining it is for me to share my story. Not because God hasn’t restored me. But because I am so sensitive and the topic is heavy – it drains me emotionally.
But I knew the time would come when He would give me the ‘green light’ to share on my blog. And that time is now.
A Broken Life
We become broken.
Through my blog, I’d like to share with you what I have learned about living in freedom and how to deal with those broken pieces of our hearts.
I’ll begin with a scripture verse that has become pivotal in my healing and restoration. Galatians 5:1. I liked how both the NIV and the NKJV translated it.
Trying to Fix Myself
How did you respond the last time you felt broken? Sometimes we try to ignore the results of those painful experiences. We hide them. We put on our masks and continue on with life, pretending we are just fine.
Or we try to deal with it all on our own. A natural tendency is for us to try and fix ourselves. In the process of trying to fix our own brokenness; we become self reliant; putting our hope in ourselves. We want things resolved now. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to wait. I can get impatient.
I was watching one of the Narnia movies with my kids recently. Have you ever seen them? They are amazing. In “Prince Caspian”, one of the main characters, King Peter demonstrated a heart of self-reliance. He wanted to go to battle without waiting for Aslan. He got tired of waiting for the great Lion and decided to take matters into his own hands.
The result was disastrous.
Peter led an attack on the Talmarines; it was an assault that he thought he had planned out so meticulously.
But mid battle, things took a turn for the worst. Many of Peter’s comrades died in battle and many more were caught in ambush – Peter and many others managed to escape only to turn and watch as their friends died. It ended in a loss so great that the morale of the group was devastated.
If only Peter had waited for Aslan, the outcome would have been different!
Has something like that ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to fix your own problems only for your problems to get much worse? It has happened to me. I have been broken, I have tried to fix myself and I became self-reliant. I did not handle my brokenness properly and I paid the consequences for it.
A Broken Teacup
When I think about self-reliance and the results of mishandling brokenness, I am reminded of my teacup story.
This is a way in which the Lord speaks to me, through visual images.
Picture, if you will a pretty, antique teacup. This teacup has been in the family for generations, it is invaluable and irreplaceable. Your little girl loves gazing at the teacup and asks if she may use it for her tea party. You allow her to use it, knowing that a treasure that isn’t used for its purpose is just useless. During her tea party, the cup is knocked over and it crashes to the floor. Your little girl panics, hastily gathers the broken pieces and hunts down her school glue to repair it.
She awkwardly tries to put the pieces back together herself and it turns into a big mess. You finally discover what happened and as you gaze upon the teacup you just wish that she had brought you the broken pieces right away so that you could fix the priceless teacup properly. You know the pattern by heart and your steady hands would have been able to piece the brokenness back together using the proper glue.
But now, you have to carefully take the broken pieces apart, clean them off and put it back together like only you know how to.
This teacup is like our own hearts, priceless and irreplaceable. They get broken and shattered. We are like the little girl – we have no clue how to mend our own broken hearts – we do a lousy job of it! We just end up making an even bigger mess. We need someone who knows our hearts to the core to put the broken pieces back together, to mend our hearts.
We need to bring those shattered shards to the One who created our hearts to begin with. This is not an easy thing to do, we feel shame and regret, especially if we’ve brought on the brokenness by our own sin or we have already mishandled our pain.
Please join me as I share over the next couple of months of how a shattered life was put back together by the Healer (Part 2 here). A life so broken that the only reason I am here, alive and breathing, is because of Him.
This isn’t the end of my story…it’s just a chapter in the whole book – a book of redemption and restoration.
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