I started to go through my 13-year old son’s T-shirt drawer yesterday. It’s been a while since I last purged his too-small clothes…and now, being 6 feet tall, I figured it was time. I pulled out his shirts and made him try them on – mostly to give myself a chuckle. I knew they’d be super small on him. It was pretty funny to see him in these now tiny shirts. Especially since he is also starting to ‘bulk-up’ from gymnastics (yeah, he’s pretty proud of his biceps!). My husband said he was like the Incredible Hulk;) There’s nothing like pointing out a young man’s strength to build him up! As I gazed at my son, I realized how he is turning into a fine young man. So, I thought I’d share some tips with you…here are 5 Unique Tips For Raising Godly Young Men.
I’ll be honest. Raising children in today’s culture isn’t easy. And it seems to grow more and more difficult with each passing year. Not because they are getting older and it comes with the territory of adolescence…but because our children are a prime target for our enemy. I think we forget this fact. And it’s easy to forget. But just because we forget or don’t think of it often doesn’t mean the bull’s eye on their backs shrinks or fades away.
Our enemy would love to get his claws into the hearts of our kids…our sons. And as he watches them grow, he sees his chances of destroying their innocence begin to fade away. If we can get our children into adulthood as strong Christians, he has little chance to demolish their faith. If he can annihilate our children’s hearts when their faith has not yet matured, he has been successful in his plan.
It is true, it feels like it is more difficult than ever to live a life that reflects the glory of God these days. However, that means that raising Godly sons is even more essential.
It is just that much more important that we are intentional and purposeful in raising our sons to follow their Lord.
1. Jesus Has to be Lord
It’s super easy to just ‘pass on’ our faith to our kids. Especially since we homeschool. I’ve seen more than my fair share of folks who seem to think that faith occurs by osmosis.
This can’t be further from the truth. We must be intentional about helping our sons own their faith. This means helping them learn to follow their Lord. Not my Lord, not my husband’s – we want Jesus to be our son’s Lord.
And this is easier said than done, isn’t it fellow sisters? It is hard work raising Godly sons. Many things entice and attempt them to lose their focus. We must be present to help them remain focused on their Lord and Savior.
2. Deal With Sin Appropriately
I think the greatest way in which we can help cultivate Jesus as Lord in our sons’ lives is to help them deal appropriately – and quickly – with sin. It is absolutely impossible for us to raise perfect children and have them develop into perfect adults. Believe me, I have tried and tried many times! I’m not even perfect, so how on earth can I raise perfect children?
The truth is this, my friends, My children are going to fall into sin. It is inevitable. And yours will, too.
My job, as their loving mother, is to demonstrate to them how to get out of that sin and how to deal with it in a healthy way. The best way to do that is to be responsible for my own sin and deal with it properly.
How do I help my son deal with his sin? I am so glad you asked!
First, we talk about how hidden sins will hold us in bondage, in the enemies grasp. When I word it that way, it brings a different perspective on what sin is and what it does to us. My son is more willing to confess and turn away from sin when he has this perspective.
My son understands that he has a ruthless enemy who doesn’t care that he is young; he will try to lure him into his traps. And sometimes he will be successful. How successful will be up to him. I teach him that they have a choice and turning to God in prayer will always help them make the wise choice. Yes, I still teach this – it is continuous.
Secondly, I pray for my son and have him confess and repent of his sin. I want my son to do this himself and to feel comfortable with confessing sin. As comfortable as confession can be, anyway.
I am training him to go to God instead of hiding his sin.
Lastly, I end our time together with a blessing over my son. I can’t stress just how important this step is. Our young men need us to say many, any blessings over them. This world is looking for opportune times to curse – we ought to be the ones who are combatting that with regular blessings and reminders of God’s promises. And, of course, there is a heartfelt embrace. My boy loves hugs, so this is a very comfortable act for him. Your boy might feel more comfortable ith a pat on the back or hand on the shoulder – it’s just that my son’s love language is ‘touch’.
3. He Is Protector
My son understands that he has a responsibility in protecting his sisters. As a young man, his duty is to offer his strength, gently and respectfully.
Just today, the 3 of them were having difficulty getting along. This doesn’t happen that often, but when it does, we deal with it swiftly. They had to pray together over their relationship. Have you ever tried that? It works wonders!! I overheard my son lifting his sisters up to the Lord, praying for their relationship.
And this role as protector is not just for his sisters – but all girls. He sees many boys his age who do not show respect to the girls in various environments (hmm…this will be to their great disadvantage in a few years!). He has made sure that his own actions and behavior are respectful and he has no problem defending a girl if necessary.
However, this started with his heart of protection for his sisters. If he’s unwilling to protect his own sisters, then I can’t expect him to be respectful of girls who are not related to him.
4. Leave It All at the Cross
Carrying burdens and sin beyond the cross is something we tend to do, isn’t it? But we were never meant to carry those things any further than that rugged, blood-stained cross.
And our boys need to understand this truth as well.
My son is going to have his own family one day and he’s going to have to bear the weight of providing adequately for them. Why not make this a tad easier by training them to bring everything to the cross of Christ and leaving it there?
Therefore, when they sin and seek forgiveness and restoration, we need to remind them of these truths:
- There is no condemnation for anyone who was in Christ Jesus.
- His sin is on the bottom of the ocean floor.
- That it has been removed from his as far as the East is from the West.
- He had left his sin with Jesus and he is to no longer carry it. That it was OK to not carry it anymore. It is a gift of mercy from our Saviour and this is what it means to be forgiven.
This is the gospel message.
My son needs to hear those words. He needs that reminder. I could see that God’s peace washed over him. Would you allow His peace to come over you, too? Would you join me in speaking this truth over our sons? Over our children?
5. A Strong Role Model
My son has an amazing earthly role model for Godly manhood, his father. My husband shows our son, through his attitude, his behavior, his faithfulness, how to be a Godly man. We can ‘teach’ all we want, but if we aren’t putting our words into action ourselves, then our words will be hollow and ineffective.
I understand that some of you may not have such a role model. That is hard. And truthfully, if my husband hadn’t had the heart change he had 10 years ago, I would either. But I prayed for him. And prayed more. And when I felt like giving up, I kept praying. Please be encouraged to continue praying for your husband if he is not yet the Godly man you need him to be.
Maybe you are a single mom reading this. Don’t despair. There are Godly men out there who will be that role model for your precious son. Ask God to bring them into your life. And trust that He will.
What unique tips would you add to this list? Which tip resonated with your heart today? Which one do you plan to implement today?
To help you raise your son for God’s glory, I have created a fantastic set of prayer cards for your teen guy and another for your teen gal. Just click ‘add to cart’ below, buy, download & print.
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