3 Effective Tactics that Destroy Jealousy

I felt the claws of climbing…to a place it does not belong.  If it got to that place, it would be so hard to get rid of it…this monster.  It threatened to destroy as the talons gripped the loose strands I dangled before it.  I had given it a taste – just a little bit – and that tiny bit only increased its insatiable appetite.  Unless it is killed, this beast will not stop with just a small morsel.  It will devour so much more than what any of us want it to.  I am sure many of you know this mammoth monster.  It’s is jealousy.  And it threatened to crawl into my heart several weeks ago.  From this experience, I learned 3 Effective Tactics that Destroy Jealousy. 

Have you ever heard someone share how God has blessed them and you started to complain that you didn't get the same blessing? I have...recently, in fact. And God convicted me right then and there. His truth penetrated my heart. Here are 3 Effective Tactics to Destroy Jealousy.

* There is a printable set of worksheets and Scripture cards at the bottom of this post – totally FREE.  

It starts so innocently, you know.  I hardly even noticed.  Actually, I was even ready to justify it.  A couple at church were sharing their experience at our church as they were saying goodbye to the congregation.  They were leaving on a positive note.  One statement sent that monster into a tailspin.  She was talking about how they were invited for lunch after their first Sunday attending.  How welcoming and warm that must have been!  That’s the way it should be!  Read More

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Grace & Truth ~ What Do You Need Most In Trying Circumstances?

Sometimes, the Lord provides comfort through the unexpected.  

I remember reading the Facebook post.  The one that was about me.  The one that was gossip disguised as a prayer request.  Gossip that was a complete lie.  Someone very close to me was spreading a lie about me.  The hurt was deep.  The pain unspeakable.  How could she do this to me…again???  Her, of all people?  I felt the tears starting to burn my eyes.  

But I couldn’t cry here!  Not right in the middle of the kids’ piano lesson!  I knew my efforts to stop the tears would be fruitless.  The piano teacher was chatting to me about some songs one of the kids could try.  I looked at her and said, “Sharon, can you please pray for me?” and the dam broke.  The tears spilled over.  My body was trembling.  I was a mess.  A weeping, wailing mess.  

What did Sharon do?  Immediately, she came to me, sat beside me, put her arm around me, and started praying.  When she was finished praying, I felt calmer.  She asked me what was going on and I shared everything with her.  And she offered wonderful, Godly wisdom.  And I knew I wasn’t alone.  

When I read Maree Dee’s post, What Do You Need Most In Trying Circumstances? well, you can see why it resonated with me.  She shares her own story of when she was desperate and someone unexpected sat with her in the mess.  She wasn’t alone, either.  Hop on over to her site to read her post. Read More

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9 Distinctive Qualities of Godly Leadership

“I’m going to do what I want to and I don’t care what you think!”  Yeah, those words came out of my husband’s mouth during an argument early on in our marriage.  He’ll be the first to tell you that he wasn’t exactly Prince Charming back then.  Really, we both were pretty much a hot mess.  When we talk about those days, Marcus will bring the conversation right around to what the root of the problem was. He wasn’t a believer.  He was not leading his family in Godliness.  In fact, he was going in the opposite direction.  His view of ‘leading’ his family was worldly leadership.  Leadership that demands its own way.  Thankfully, that all changed in 2004.  Here are 9 Distinctive Qualities of Godly Leadership that my husband has displayed in our marriage and family.

What does it mean to lead your family in Godliness? How does a husband lead? Here are 9 Distinctive Qualities of Godly Leadership that I see in my husband.

You know that thing I said my husband said several years ago?  Well, he wouldn’t fathom saying such a thing now.  Why?  Because he has grown into a Godly husband. He has come to a strong understanding of what it means to lead his family in Godliness.  And guess what the fruit of that is?  A wife who joyfully submits to her husband.  Oh, yes, I know, Scripture doesn’t say for us wives to submit just when we feel like it or when it’s easy.  BUT…when your husband displays Godly leadership for his family, it sure makes the submission thing a whole lot more enjoyable!   Read More

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Grace & Truth ~ 3 Benefits you Gain by Praying for Your Marriage

If you’ve been around my blog for any length of time, it wouldn’t be difficult for you to see how much I value prayer.  Especially prayer over my marriage.  Really, prayer is what got my hubby to come to faith in Jesus – not my nagging.  Not my relentless invitations to come to church.  Not my own perfect faith (ok, how about ‘holier-than-thou’ persona???  Sound better?).  It was prayer.  Desperate prayers from a desperate wife.  It has been prayers – by both of us – that have made our marriage rock solid.  So, naturally, I loved Nicole’s post, 3 Benefits you Gain by Praying for Your Marriage.  

Nicole’s 3 benefits are spot-on.  We need to make sure we are praying God’s will for our marriages!  We need to understand the incredible strength in Biblical submission.  I had to submit to my guy recently – it was hard.  And I was disappointed that I couldn’t do what I wanted to.  But…for my guy to fully trust me and to feel respected by me…well, ladies, that will go a whole lot further than a nail appointment;)  I still want my nails done, though;)  Maybe in a few months…  We also need to understand the difference between fighting with our hubbies and fighting for them.  Nicole helps distinguish between the 2.  Head on over to her blog to read her post!

Nicole, please be sure to grab this “I’ve Been Featured” image below and add it, with a link to this page, to your post so that your readers can celebrate with you!  

Grace and Truth Link-up http://aimeeimbeau.com

Now for this week’s link up!  Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord. Read More

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How Does a Husband Wash His Wife in the Word?

Words cut deep.  Rejection is heartbreaking.  Friends come and go…sometimes on good terms, many times the termination is excruciatingly painful.  A family becomes estranged.  Tragedy crushes the soul.  Brokenness is inevitable in this shattered world.  I am sure, just like me, you’ve had a lot of experience with painful relationships and events.  This life is challenging and troublesome enough if we are facing it on our own.  However, having a Godly spouse who loves as Christ loves the Church sure makes a difference.  When a husband washes his wife in the word of God is one of the most rewarding aspects of marriage.  But what does it mean for a husband to sanctify his wife and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word?  How does a husband wash his wife in the Word?  

Paul tells husbands to sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. Does he mean that our guys need let us have baths on a regular basis? No. It means so much more than that. It roots the mystery that is the union between husband and wife. And it is so good. If you’ve been wondering How Does a Husband Wash His Wife in the Word, this post will help.

My husband understands this verse quite well.  He washes me in the Word often.  But there was a time when he didn’t understand this truth.  I was reading one of my journal entries from our first year of marriage.  I was struggling through the disclosure, flashbacks, and repercussions of childhood sexual abuse.  This is what I wrote: Read More

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Grace & Truth ~ When Spiritual Warfare Hits Home

I recently read a fantastic blog post about how Wonder Woman and the Christian woman are alike – we fight in a battle.  I loved it.  I need to find that post again because the author sure got some flack for her comparison to Wonder Women (my goodness, will there ever be a day when Christians are not so easily offended?).  One commenter was angry because women had no business in the battlefield.  Women are not warriors.  I didn’t realize that God’s armor was just for men.  When did this happen?  When did Paul refer to just men in Ephesians 6?  Did that change when I wasn’t looking?  

Satan doesn’t care if we are men, women, or children when he attacks, so we all need to be properly equipped and trained.  Candace’s post was a good reminder of being prepared for spiritual battle – and that it does exist!  Head on over to her blog to read, When Spiritual Warfare Hits Home.

Candace, please be sure to grab this “I’ve Been Featured” image below and add it, with a link to this page, to your post so that your readers can celebrate with you!  

Grace and Truth Link-up http://aimeeimbeau.com

Now for this week’s link up!  Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord. Read More

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Why I Do Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)

I was angry.  I was deeply hurt.  And it was late.  He knew how I felt and yet, he still didn’t apologize.  Instead, he was getting ready for bed. My frustration elevated.  The tears rolled down my cheeks.  I hate this.  And it didn’t look like anything was going to get resolved tonight.  I started to get ready for bed, too.  Guilt washed over me as I brushed my teeth and contemplated that popular marriage ‘rule’.  “Never go to bed angry”.  Right.  Now not only am I upset, but I am breaking this cardinal rule!  My marriage is doomed!  Or is it?  Early on in my marriage, I worried about breaking popular advice such as this one.  But then I realized that just like any cliché advice, it must be taken with a grain of salt.  This is Why I Do Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes).

The popular cliché advice for newlyweds is usually “never go to bed angry – stay up and work it out”. While those offering the advice probably have good intentions, this advice isn’t always practical or wise – and really, if you’ve been married any length of time, you have probably gone to bed angry a time or two! Here is Why I Do Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)

Fighting with my husband is one of the things I dislike most in my life.  It doesn’t occur very often, so it isn’t something either of us is used to.  We are blessed to have a marriage where arguments and pain are not a normal occurrence.  But, we are both human and we get angry sometimes.  And sometimes we do go to bed angry.  Maybe this sounds like your marriage.  Maybe you fight sometimes and go to bed angry knowing it goes against that marriage rule.  But, it works for you and your hubby.  It turns out to be a good thing.  And guess what?  That’s OK.  

In The Quiet

When I go to bed angry, I use that time before falling asleep to talk to God about what is happening.  When I am in the heat of anger, I don’t think to quiet myself before the Lord.  I am too busy fighting and trying to make myself heard.  My focus is on me.  My wants and needs.  

But when I am quiet and conversing with my Heavenly Father, my anger disperses and I feel His peace.  It is during this time that He is able to speak to my heart.  I am more open to receiving His conviction if I have wronged my husband in any way, including thinking bad thoughts about him.  During this quiet time with God, He is able to give me His love for my husband and I can pray for God’s solution to the problem and wisdom in how to deal with it – wisdom for me and for Marcus.

Clear-Headed

When I am tired, my emotions tend to be more sensitive and unreasonable.  Not really ideal conditions for working out a problem, right?  With some rest, I am better able to think about the issue.  I’ve had time to think and process the situation.  

Do you need time to process, too?  I find the extra time helpful for me to see things clearly and to deal with any rooted issues I might have.

Renew

I’ve gotten into the habit of asking God to renew and revive my love for my husband.  You see, my husband and I have been through a lot over the years.  We’ve had ample opportunities to prove the scripture verse that says 2 shall become 1.  We’ve had to.  

Because of events that have occurred in our extended family, Marcus has had to be my defender, my protector.  I’ve had to rest in his strength and protection many, many times.  

He has proven to me time and again that his heart is for me.  That he has my best interest at heart and he would never intentionally hurt me.  I have resolved to not allow disagreements to hinder my love for him.  

And sometimes I need the night to seek the Lord and ask Him to remind me of my love for my husband.  It always works;)

Shut My Mouth

Sometimes God needs me to keep my mouth shut so that He can deal with my husband.  If I am blabbing on and on about how I am right, then I don’t leave room for God to speak to Marcus’ heart.  My husband needs that quiet to seek the Lord as well.  Staying up all night trying to work things out just might interfere with what God wants to teach Marcus (and me).      

Always Right?

Just because a piece of advice is popular doesn’t mean it’s always right – or even just right for that given situation.  If you go to bed angry, don’t seek the Lord and then don’t try to resolve the problem the following day (or ever), then yes, you might want to stick to the cliché advice of staying up until the issue is resolved – but still, seek the Lord! 

Maybe, like me, you need that time to process, pray, and listen.  Just because a piece of advice is popular and touted by almost everyone without much thought or reason, doesn’t mean it is the best advice for your marriage or for that specific issue.

Walking Where?

Walking in the Spirit requires us to seek the Lord for His counsel instead of worldly cliché advice.  Instead of reacting to a situation, I turn to the Lord for wisdom and discernment.  Doing this has helped me to see if there is something else bothering my husband or if I am ‘over-reacting’ because of some unhealed root in my own life.  Being lead by the Spirit has really helped me to know when to keep talking it out and when to remain quiet (as hard as that is sometimes!).   

Do you go to bed angry?  Have you been walking in the Spirit?  Do you allow the Holy Spirit to guide your conversations?  Are you and your husband ‘one’?

If you have enjoyed this post, you will love my Bible study on marriage coming up in the fall!  I will be leading a study through Proverbs 31.  Sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss out on the promotional price of this study.  

The popular cliché advice for newlyweds is usually “never go to bed angry – stay up and work it out”. While those offering the advice probably have good intentions, this advice isn’t always practical or wise – and really, if you’ve been married any length of time, you have probably gone to bed angry a time or two! Here is Why I Do Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)

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Grace & Truth ~ 5 Guidelines to Getting It Together

I love Becky’s writings.  I love her honesty.  I love how she is practical and to the point.  I love how she points right back to Jesus.  I think she is just the ‘cat’s pajamas’ (I love that term!  Because then I begin to picture a cat in pajamas.)  Her latest post was one I could totally relate to.  I’ve heard the same statement directed at me – more than once.  And it’s not like I am trying to make it look like I have it ‘all together’ – in fact, I am honest when I have been struggling.  I have been very transparent with the garbage I’ve been through in my life.  I do kind of wish we’d stop judging each other in this regard – and, yes, it is judging.  I wish we could give each other the benefit of the doubt instead of allowing jealousy to rule our assumptions of others.  

I just appreciate what she says in her post, 5 Guidelines to Getting It Together.  And you know what, maybe people do see me as ‘having it all together’ because I don’t complain about my husband – in fact, I cast him in a good light.  I speak highly of him.  And so I should.  I’m his wife.  And maybe people make their assumptions about me because I don’t complain about my body.  If you can relate, too, then you’ll appreciate Becky’s post.  OR – if you are one of those women who seem to think ‘we’ have it all together, maybe Becky’s post will shed some light on the misguided notion.  Just hop on over to her site – I am sure you will love her like I do! 

Becky, please be sure to grab this “I’ve Been Featured” image below and add it, with a link to this page, to your post so that your readers can celebrate with you!  

Grace and Truth Link-up http://aimeeimbeau.com

Now for this week’s link up!  Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord. Read More

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What It Means For A Husband To Love His Wife

We had barely been married a year when he said those terrible, heart-breaking words.  I knew something was ‘off’ in the weeks previous.  He wouldn’t touch me anymore.  He barely spoke to me – at least not the way he used to.  Sleeping in the same bed was like sleeping with a stranger.  And forget about any kind of intimacy.  It just wasn’t happening.  I was hurt, lonely, and headed for trouble.  We both were.  And those words confirmed that what I was sensing was true.  So early in our marriage, neither one of us knew what love meant. And because Marcus wasn’t a believer, he certainly had no idea What It Means For A Husband To Love His Wife.

Sometimes, we get a warped view of the marriage relationship. We excuse bad behavior because we don’t know what love really means. But, if we truly did understand how to love, so many more marriages would be healthy and whole. What It Means For A Husband To Love His Wife

I gathered my courage and asked my husband what was going on.  He responded with:

“I love you but I’m not in love with you”.    

Nice, hey?  Just what a new bride wants to hear.  This is what I call “Hollywood Love” – the fluff we see in movies.   Read More

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Grace & Truth ~ 5 Tips To Freshen Up Your Quiet Times

I love studying God’s Word.  I also like to switch things up and try new study methods. And then there are times when God has His own plans for your study of His word.  You see, I wanted to study John but I couldn’t find ‘anything’ to guide me.  Yes, I know, I don’t need a guide – I just wanted one.  OK, and there were studies out there – just not any I was content with.  So, I got the idea to just dig in.  Then – I got this little idea…why not invite ladies in my Facebook discussion group (available to subscribers) to join me in reading and study.  We would just discuss what we read.  

THEN…I got another ‘idea’ when I started to study.  I was looking up this and that and started forming a few basic questions.  So, I thought “Why not pose them to my friends in the discussion group?”  So, I did.

THEN…I kept digging and researching…and the questions grew in number.  They were also more thought-provoking.  I got another idea – “Why not just add these questions and findings to the discussion group?”  The posts started to look messy and difficult to follow.  So, I created documents in the group for ease of use.

THEN…I know this was God and I am sure it was His plan from the beginning to ease me into this idea because if He told me to write a full-on study right off the bat, I’d say No Way!  I’m not qualified!  Anyway, this idea was “Why not create a more official upgrade for your study.  You are already doing the hard part – the research.  Just make it pretty and add some video and other content.

So, I did.  I am creating my very own Bible Study on John – and can I say – it is amazing!  BTW – today is the last day for the early bird price – so get it now!

When I read Barb’s post, 5 Tips To Freshen Up Your Quiet Times, I knew I just had to feature her!  it’s all about Bible study methods – and she links to one of my all-time favorite bloggers, Kaylene.  Bonus!

Barb, please be sure to grab this “I’ve Been Featured” image below and add it, with a link to this page, to your post so that your readers can celebrate with you!  

Grace and Truth Link-up http://aimeeimbeau.com

Now for this week’s link up!  Let’s bless and encourage one another in our walk with the Lord. Read More

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