Is Your Contentious Attitude Affecting Your Sex Life?

Years ago, I struggled with anger.  I was an angry mom, and angry wife…just a plain old angry woman.  And this had a huge negative impact on my bedroom activities.  I had to deal with the root of my anger before I would see any improvement in any other area of my life, including intimacy.  The condition of our hearts, our attitudes, and how we treat others has a direct effect on what our bedroom activity, or the lack thereof, looks like.  The effect is for good…or for worse.  So, ladies, is your contentious attitude affecting your sex life?   

What does your attitude have to do with intimacy? Lots! If you have a bad attitude, it will creep into every area of your life and marriage, including your sex life! But you do have a choice on what to do with it. Is Your Contentious Attitude Affecting Your Sex Life?

This Angry Woman

There was this one time when this angry mom exploded at her kids.  I just went “off the grid” – saying things I knew I’d deeply regret later on.  But I just kept carrying that angry spirit around and I made sure everyone felt it.  I was completely unreasonable and my behavior was appalling.  I am even embarrassed to be sharing this with you.  Really, it was shameful.  Read More

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Is It Really My Duty As His Wife?

Quite a few years ago, a younger friend was preparing the final details of her wedding plans.  With a playful grin, I mentioned to her that two of my favorite verses in the Bible was 1 Corinthians 7: 3 & 4.  She agreed with me and we had a good chuckle about it.  However, over the years, I have come to see how this little passage has been taken out of context and the original meaning that Paul intended.  This “advice” on marital intimacy is seriously lacking.  Sure, maybe it sounds good at first, but when I really thought about it, the advice just didn’t sit well.  Perhaps you’ve fallen into the trap of this ‘advice’ as well.  Are you believing the lie of being intimate with your husband in the name of duty?  Are you wondering “Is It Really My Duty As His Wife?”

Have you been met with the response "It's your duty as his wife" when you have expressed a struggle with intimacy in marriage? Me, too. More times than necessary, that's for sure. In this post, I address that question...Is It Really My Duty As His Wife?

You’ve probably heard this ‘advice’ – or maybe you’ve even given it to a friend.   
Scripture says my body belongs to my husband, therefore I should not deprive him.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t ‘feel like it’, I should give it to him anyway because it is my duty as his wife.

**SIGH** Read More

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6 Sure Ways To Make Your Marriage Difficult

The tears rolled down my cheeks.  We were fighting…again.  I don’t even remember how it started – just how it ended.  When I walked down that aisle, I didn’t expect marriage to be this hard.  I wondered if I had made a mistake in marrying him.  Maybe he was Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right.  Surely someone else would have been better.  Right?  Probably not.  It wasn’t until several years later that I realized why this was improbable.  I had to learn a lot…thankfully, when you don’t have someone to teach you these things, God uses His Holy Spirit to teach us the truth.  What did I learn?  I am sure you are anxious to find out.  Well, here are 6 Sure Ways To Make Your Marriage Difficult.

6 Sure Ways To Make Your Marriage Difficult

I wish I had known these things when Marcus and I were first married.  Yes, we did go to marriage counseling, but I don’t remember the pastor talking about these kinds of things.  The things I had to learn ‘on my own’ years later.  Things I had to learn from experience (AKA – the hard way).  When I learned these things and applied them to my life and my marriage, Marcus and I grew stronger.  And when he started doing the same thing – WOW!  That’s when we became unstoppable!  OK, maybe not to that extreme.  But we do have a solid marriage because we both work hard to avoid the following 6 things. Read More

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Don’t Wish For A Marriage Like Mine

She sat across the table from me, stirring her cup of tea, a wistful look in her eye.  Finally, she blurted, “I wish I had a marriage like yours.”  My darling friend, if you only knew the truth.  This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this.  It isn’t the first time my marriage has been caught in the trap of comparison.  People see the results of over 18 years of hard work, pain, joy, and learning.  Yeah, Marcus and I have a rock solid marriage.  And it certainly isn’t because we’ve had good role models for marriage.  Except for one.  Once we learned – and applied – this fundamental truth for a holy and happy marriage, we were well on our way to a rock solid marriage.  So, if you long for a healthy marriage, Don’t Wish For A Marriage Like Mine.  Instead, discover the essential truth that totally transformed our marriage.  

The comparison trap is so appealing. We see the couple who has tall. Great marriage. Awesome kids. And we begin wishing for what they have. But here's the thing. We shouldn't be looking to other people for our example. There is something better. Don't Wish For A Marriage Like Mine

The first few years of marriage were rocky.  When Marcus thinks about those years, he laughingly quips, “I knew nothing back then!”  And he is right…I didn’t either!  We were both incredibly broken people – one unbeliever and one trying to be a believer the best she could.  If we had only known then what we know now, we would have saved ourselves a lot of heartache.  So, what should you be aiming for in your marriage?  What example should you be following?  The answer is pretty simple…but often ignored or overlooked. Read More

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3 Incredible Truths About Marriage From Mary and Joseph

The Christmas Story is all about Jesus, His birth, God’s redemption plan…His mercy.  I just watched a Kyle Idleman video study about the shepherds and I got all emotional thinking of how God has redeemed and restored my heart…my soul…my life.  This is what Christmas is for me.  Remembering how God came to a very broken woman and put a new song in her heart.  Thanking Him for His redemption plan for my life.  However, through all of that, I have noticed another little story woven through the amazing Christmas Story.  A story of marriage.  We are given an example of a Godly union between husband and wife.  Here are 3 Incredible Truths About Marriage From Mary and Joseph.

Over the Christmas season, I have realized that Mary and Joseph provide us with some great marriage tips. Here are 3 Incredible Truths About Marriage From Mary And Joseph.

When we think of Mary and Joseph, we probably don’t think about their marriage – or if we do, it is just a quick glimpse – like knowing they were engaged to be married.  We then we move on to the important focus of the Story – Jesus.  And so we should.  Yet, I’d like to take a closer look at the marriage of Mary and Joseph today.  There are a few truths that popped out to me…and encouraged my heart.  I hope they will do the same for you. Read More

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3 Incredible Truths To Remember When Walking Through Adversity

My heart was crushed.  The pain was excruciating.  There are less than a handful of people who have hurt me more than she has.  I know how that saying goes – the one about your spouse being the person who hurts you the most – I even came across that saying in some sermon notes I had written many years ago.  As a young wife in those days, I believed that saying – I put myself on guard for my husband to be the person who hurt me the most.  After almost 20 years of marriage, I know that saying to be completely false.  Sure, it might be true in some marriages – and maybe when you set yourself up for it, it becomes true.  But it was not true in my case.  Not even close.  My husband has not been the one to hurt me the most.  But he has been the one to walk beside me through such agonizing pain at the hands of others.  Here are 3 Incredible Truths To Remember When Walking Through Adversity.  
When adversity comes, I can either draw closer to my husband or I can allow it to tear us apart.  Here are 3 incredible truths to remember when walking through adversity.

Some of the hardest times in my life have fused my husband and me together so fiercely that there isn’t much that could rip us apart.  We are pretty solid, he and I.  We are so good together.  Spending time together is one of our favorite things…and we both work from home, so we see each other all day, every day.  And, no, we have never gotten sick of each other!  When one of us goes through a rough patch, we have a choice.  We can bring further hurt into the situation by failing to support, encourage and pray for the other.  OR…we can walk with the other person through that awful painful situation and cover them in prayer.   Read More

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7 Reasons Why You Should Pray For Your Husband

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  It was a hard day.  A day that I had to be strong for my husband.  A day that I could not bend to my fear or emotions.  A day that I had to remain level-headed and reasonable.  Truth be told, I don’t think I’ve ever had a day like that before…it is always him that is my rock, my strength – my voice of reason.  But this was not one of those days.  I couldn’t fix the problem, but I could pray for him right then and there because that is what he needed from me.  I offered him my support through encouraging words, words that built him up as a man and through the strength of my prayers when he couldn’t pray.  This was my job and if that isn’t enough, then here are 7 Reasons Why You Should Pray For Your Husband.

Don’t miss the Facebook Live video I did with my hubby!!!  He answers some questions about prayer! 

Do you pray for your husband daily? Do you understand why it is vital that you do? Here are 7 Reasons Why You Should Pray For Your Husband

It Is A Privilege And An Honor

Praying for my husband is such a privilege and an honor.  I don’t think there is anyone else on this earth who can pray for my husband like I can.  I know his heart, his fears, his worries…his joy.  I am his best friend.  I know him like no one else.  And I can storm the gates of heaven on his behalf.   Read More

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When You Need To Rekindle The Romance

I have noticed that there are some days where I just need to ‘connect’ with my man…if you know what I mean.  I find that I am in a much better mood when my needs have been met.  I am more relaxed and at peace.  I crave that special connection with Marcus because it is so intimate.  I don’t think God would have it any other way.  He created sex for more than only procreation.  It is a sacred act between a husband and wife – and I believe it is deeply spiritual.  Our hearts connect and we are as physically close as to people can get.  We are both vulnerable to each other.  But sometimes life happens and this gets put on the back burner.  We lose our passion.  We are tired.  We don’t feel sexy enough…the list could go on and on.  Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of demons to overcome in this area with childhood sexual abuse and the lie of not being ‘sexy’.  Let’s talk about When You Need To Rekindle The Romance.

Do you struggle with time for intimacy with your spouse? Or maybe you are just plain tired? When You Need To Rekindle The Romance

When my son was born, this part of life was very difficult.  Without going into too much detail, my son’s shoulders did considerable damage to my body.  Almost 6 months passed by before I was able to do anything without too much pain.  I felt awful about myself and I started to believe that my hubby was so disappointed in me – he was so good to pick up on this and reassure me.  But, ladies, let’s be honest…this area in married life isn’t always a bed of roses 😉  However, this just means that we need to do a bit of work.  Here are a few suggestions that will help.  Read More

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How To Teach Our Children Obedience

We were eye-to-eye in a struggle of wills…me, the parent and he, the son.  This young man would test my patience…and my grace over the years.  He brought the term “strong-willed child” into my life!  I had not known anything about it before him!  My daughter was the picture perfection of the compliant child.  Teaching her obedience was a dream.  But my son…that was an entirely different story.  I had my work cut out for me.  Some of you…many of you know exactly what I am talking about.  You have a strong-willed child (or children…my 3rd is also of the same sort…**SIGH**) yourself.  And maybe you are here because you need to understand how to teach our children obedience. 

Are you tired of trying to get your kids to obey? Training our children to make right choices is exhausting. We wonder if they will ever get it. In this post, I provide a few tips to help teach obedience to your children.

Photo by liz west “children at play” https://www.flickr.com/photos/53133240@N00/1776265241/

Don’t get me wrong, I love that my youngest 2 are strong-willed.  I have come to embrace this personality trait…and perhaps even see a bit of my own strong will.  In fact, I’ve come to be more comfortable with their strong-will than my oldest’s easy-going compliance.  Interesting, hey?  A lot of that likely comes from my own compliant childhood and how my compliance affected me.     

So, how do we get our children to obey us?      Read More

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How To Have An Imperfectly Perfect Marriage

I am sharing over at Busy Being Blessed today in Jenn’s wonderful marriage series “The Imperfect Wife”.  In this guest post, I share about how my marriage appears ‘perfect’ to the outsider, but the truth is something different.  I explain what we have done and How To Have An Imperfectly Perfect Marriage.

Have you ever looked at a marriage and believed it was 'perfect'? Like nothing bad ever happens, the couple never fights - they adoringly and longingly gaze into each others eyes ALL. THE. TIME? I have a marriage that appears that way and I share HOW we have the imperfectly perfect marriage. I hope this encourages your Christian marriage.

Several years ago, my neighbor was having a difficult time in her marriage. Her husband was leaving her and she could not stop crying. I remember finding her scrunched up in the corner of her sofa. My heart broke for her. I sat with her and I cried alongside her. I tried to offer some encouragement, but much of the time I just didn’t know exactly what to say. What are the right words? And then I began sharing with her about the struggles I’ve had in my marriage. She looked at me with surprise and said, “Wait. I thought you had the perfect marriage.” She could not have been more wrong about that. She needed to know that what I have is the imperfectly perfect marriage.  And I want to share with you How To Have An Imperfectly Perfect Marriage.

To finish reading this post, head on over to Busy Being Blessed.

Have you ever looked at a marriage and believed it was 'perfect'? Like nothing bad ever happens, the couple never fights - they adoringly and longingly gaze into each others eyes ALL. THE. TIME? I have a marriage that appears that way and I share HOW we have the imperfectly perfect marriage. I hope this encourages your Christian marriage.

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