It is a topic that has been the center of many heated debates. Passionately, it conjures very strong emotions in us women, regardless of our position on the subject. It goes from one extreme to another, and in that, I think we have lost the true, biblical meaning of submission. Here is What I’ve Learned About Submission.
I am not a doormat type of submissive wife. I don’t believe that God ever intended for women to endure abusive behaviour from their husbands when He commanded wives to submit. Godly submission is not the same thing as doormat submission.
With being said, I am a submissive wife to Marcus. I fully and completely trust in his authority over me. There is no problem in supporting him in the big and small decisions for our family. I know his heart towards me and our children. He wants the best for us. I know this deep down in my soul. I know he would lay down his own life for our family. He adores me and cherishes me.
Submission is not in our nature – our flesh cries out for our selfish desires. But, when a man loves his wife like Marcus loves me, being submissive is much, much easier to choose.
A Fresh Perspective
The last few months have taught me a new perspective on submission. There was another ‘episode’ with someone – really, that’s the only way to explain it. But it happened…and it hurt. A relationship was destroyed by hurtful words spoken and actions done by this person. This person even acknowledged the devastation with these words “I have destroyed you, haven’t I?”. Yes, my heart and soul were crushed but I wasn’t destroyed. Our relationship was.
The unhealthy behaviour has been going on for a very long time and Marcus is tired of seeing me get hurt. Because this pattern has been transpiring for longer than the 20 years he has known me, he instructed me to not say anything, to get some distance. I knew he was right.
I also received Godly counsel from some women I esteem as my Titus 2 women; I trust their wisdom and insight. They are prayerful women whom I trust dearly. They gave the same words of good judgment. Our Titus 2 women are essential for our walks with the Lord!
You see, normally, I’d want to fight back. I’d want to defend myself and argue my side. But not this time. A resolve had come over me. And my husband helped me to see this. If nothing has really changed in over 20 years, it probably won’t change now.
And even though I remained quiet, this person continued trying to create conflict with me on the many areas where she thought I was failing. My husband directed me again to just remain quiet. I submitted to his instruction.
And I hid in his protection of my heart.
You see, if I had fought him on this, if I was determined to have my say with this person, I would not have been under my husband’s spiritual protection. I would be open to further spiritual warfare and attack.
Embracing His Protection
This is godly submission, ladies. We must allow our husbands to protect us and keep our hearts safe. That means we need to follow their instruction to just let things be and not fight it, regardless of our desire to stick up for ourselves.
If I don’t heed Marcus’ directive in his efforts to protect me and I get hurt even more, then that is something I’ll have to accept full responsibility for. And I am sure I’d regret it later on. And history has proven this to be true. I am usually regretful when I have not heeded his instruction with matters of my heart.
I am so thankful that I submitted to Marcus’ authority over me in this circumstance…well, I am thankful for all of the times I submit to him – but this situation in particular! I have felt so protected and safe. It’s like I am tucked safely in a little cocoon. I know I would not feel like this if I had not submitted to him. My spirit would be in turmoil and I would not be resting in peace.
Marcus loves me and he wants the best for me. He wants his wife to be whole and living an abundant life for Christ. I know this right down to the core of my being. He longs to protect me and he lives to fight for my heart.
And part of being a submissive wife is allowing him to protect my heart and fight for me. I will do this by remaining quietly in his loving embrace.
Thank you, Marcus.